With Silence
by D. M. Evans
Summary: Mustang escorts Gracia Hughes to a town outside of Central to meet someone and there he gets an unexpected phone call
1. Chapter 1

With Silence

Shades of Grey #5 - Shade Dove

D M Evans

Disclaimer - in no way mine. All rights belong to Hiromu...

Rating - FRT

Pairing - Roy/Riza...sort of

Time Line - hmmm pretty much my own. This is an AR set after episode 25 around the time the brothers would be in Dublith.

Summary - Mustang escorts Gracia Hughes to a town outside of Central to meet someone and there he gets an unexpected phone call

Author's Note - This is the fifth story in the Shades of Grey series. It's not necessary to read them to make sense of this. All you need to know is this series filled in some of Mustang's childhood, mixes anime and manga verses and in this a certain character didn't die in episode 25

Author's Note - for those I told you wouldn't see this here...I was wrong. It took a weird hop on me, going from pwp to much more plot-driven and the erotica became backseat (and not until the final chapter, chapter three)

_Lying is done with words and also with silence - Adrienne Rich_

"Sir, you need to get your paperwork done," Hawkeye said calmly as gun smoke swirled around the office. That was a side effect of loading the gun with blanks, overly-smoky discharge. Still, the effect was worth it. Both Mustang and Havoc had been dozing in Mustang's office, their feet up on his desk, chairs cocked back so far Hawkeye didn't know how they didn't just roll out. When the gun went off - fair warning had been given to the surrounding offices so no one raised an alarm - both Havoc and Mustang tumbled out of their chairs.

"Dammit, Hawkeye!" Mustang dragged to his feet, a hand pressed to the corner of his eyebrow where he had clipped his head going down. Blood welled up from between his fingers.

"That wasn't funny," Havoc added from where he had scuttled.

"Neither is the two of you sleeping on company time." She tapped the dual piles of paper work with her gun barrel. "Do your work, sir."

"You're insane, you know that right, Lieutenant?" Mustang snarled, looking at his blood-stained hand.

"A side effect of working with you, sir," she shot back in no mood for his laziness today. They had a weekend together planned and she didn't want to waste hours of it in his office doing overtime. He pouted.

"Which ones need filled out and which just need signatures?" A resigned tone filled his voice.

She tapped one pile. "Signatures only."

Roy took the other pile and handed it to Havoc. "Fill them out, Lieutenant."

Havoc glared at Hawkeye, his lips skinning back. "Thanks for nothing."

"Colonel, you're supposed to do this yourself. Do you even read this stuff before you sign or do you just trust this..." She waved a hand to Havoc who was lighting his cigarette. "To get it right."

"I think I'm insulted." Havoc rolled the cigarette from one corner of his mouth to the other, managing to look hurt at the same time.

"No smoking in here, Havoc!" Roy barked, stabbing a finger toward his office door.

Havoc's shoulders slumped and he left the office but he didn't extinguish his cigarette.

Hawkeye shut the door. She turned back to study her lover who wasn't looking particularly dashing at the moment, blood running down his face. "You're bleeding, sir."

"And who do I have to thank for that? I'm damn lucky Havoc didn't wet himself. I'd never get that smell out of here." Mustang didn't mention that he, himself, was just as lucky because that would never happen, or at least he needed Hawkeye to believe she hadn't really scared him, sanguine evidence to the contrary.

"I'm not sorry, sir. You are on duty," Hawkeye said, moving to look at his bloody forehead after he sat down and slumped. "You're setting a terrible example."

"Just as well I'm going on liberty tonight then," Mustang replied, working himself into a good sulk. She knew the look all too well.

Hawkeye paused in daubing the wound, her breath hitching. Usually when he turned into a brat, she had to fight the urge to strangle him but this time was different. He had said something unexpected during his pout. "What?"

His black eyes canted over to her. Roy looked decidedly uneasy as if he expected her to get real bullets and shoot him. "I'm on liberty and going out of town."

"That's rather sudden. I thought we were going..." Hawkeye broke off as she remembered where she was. She glanced around as if she could somehow spot any bugs that might be in the room.

"I know." He looked honestly repentant. "I'm sorry. Mrs. Hughes got a call that a cousin of hers in New River needs her to come and help him out. He took a tumble down the stairs and can't walk for a bit. She's his only relative. She was really nervous about traveling without Hughes." Roy paused, wetting his lips, his eyes sheening until they looked like the black buttons one would find on a child's stuffed toy. Hawkeye knew the grief of losing Hughes was still fresh. "She asked if I would accompany her and Elicia. I had to rush to arrange it. Sorry, I didn't have time to let you know, Hawkeye."

"No, it's okay." Hawkeye gave the cut another critical look. It had clotted off. She tried to hide the disappointment she felt. So much for the surprise picnic she had planned at the lake just outside of town. "Your head's stopped bleeding."

"No thanks to you," he grumbled, gingerly touching the knot on his head.

"Blame yourself. If you didn't do everything you can to avoid work, I wouldn't have to go to extreme measures." She wanted to give his bangs a playful tug but she didn't. Who knew who might be spying?

He rolled his eyes. "Why do I put up with you?"

She just grinned. "Deep down you appreciate my style."

A smile played peekaboo with his lips as they fell back into their pattern of flirting with double entendres. "I do. I'll be gone for four days. Whatsoever will you do without me here at the office?"

"Well, since the potted plants on the window sill do more work than you, I'm sure we'll be fine, sir." She tucked the bloody handkerchief away for washing out later.

He wrinkled his nose at her. "You're a cruel woman."

"You need a tight rein, sir." Hawkeye patted his hand and left the office.

Roy grunted. Riza's stunt had given him a headache and the drumming behind his eyes was compounded by having to lie to her. He knew she had been planning something for them this weekend. He wished he knew what it was. Maybe it was better that he didn't. He'd just be depressed.

On the other hand, he couldn't say no to Maes when his friend had contacted him under his new name Julien Camden. He was established in New River and had begun to feed information to Armstrong. He had seen the Elrics in Rush Valley and later Dublith, both a hop, skip and a jump from New River. The boys didn't appear to be in any more trouble than normal and Roy had created a paper trail to give the illusion he actually had Edward under some sort of control.

When Maes called, he had wanted Roy to bring Gracia and Elicia to him. He felt safe enough to reveal the fact he wasn't dead to them. Roy was not looking forward to this trip. All the way there, he'd be keeping something big from Gracia. He could only imagine Gracia's reaction to learning her husband has been alive all these weeks, recovering, setting himself up in a new life. And the trip home, with Gracia knowing he had been in on it all along and hadn't told her, would be just uncomfortable.

It had been easy enough to convince Gracia to come with him. All he needed to do was tell her that he had found out something she needed to see regarding Hughes in New River. Gracia trusted Roy without hesitation. He arranged for two cottages to rent that weren't far from Hughes' new home. His friend felt they were safer than a hotel. Roy trusted Maes' suspicions. They were all still in some danger. Roy just wished he had time to prepare Riza for him being gone. Of course his throbbing head made him feel a little less charitable but still, she was his lover and he didn't like leaving her out of things.

After he signed the horrendous pile of paperwork in front of him, Roy headed into the anteroom. He dropped the paperwork on Riza's desk then handed her a card with the cottage's phone number on it. "Give that to Elizabeth. Tell her to give me a call once I get there. It's a long train ride. I'll need to relax."

"Understood, sir." She slipped it into her breast pocket; oh to be that card.

Roy turned to his men. "I'll be at liberty for a few days. Hawkeye, you're in charge. Havoc, behave yourself."

"Hey!" Havoc stabbed a lit cigarette in Roy's general direction. Roy put his fingers together, rubbing lightly, and Havoc snubbed his cigarette out.

Roy looked over at Breda, Falman, and Fuery. "You men know your jobs. I'm not expecting any trouble and I will be checking in."

"Yes, sir," they chorused.

"Hawkeye, walk with me," Roy said and she got up, falling in step with him. He waited until they were outside before continuing. "I'm sure they won't give you much trouble."

She snorted. "Did Havoc sustain a brain injury that has radically changed his personality?"

"Possibly if he hit his head as hard as I did going down," Roy replied, ruefully, touching the egg on his head again.

Hawkeye glanced at him. "It's bruising nicely, sir."

"Oh good, that'll impress Gracia, having to be stuck sitting across from me looking at it." Roy sighed. "Sorry about the weekend."

"No troubles. I'll be sure Elizabeth calls you." She smiled at him.

He flashed one back. "Thanks, Hawkeye."

"No problem, sir."

Roy dismissed her and took the time to watch her walk back to the building. It was a mistake. It just made him think about the things he'd miss out doing with that tight backside and strong thighs this weekend. Sighing, he headed for home to finish packing.


	2. The Meeting

Chapter two

"Unca Roy! Lookee!" Elicia thrust the tablet she had been drawing in frenetically with her colored pencils into his hands. "Horsie!"

Roy looked at the colorful blob, nodding appreciatively. "And a fine horse it is." He handed the tablet back across the train seat to Gracia, grateful Elicia hadn't made him identify the animal.

Elicia slid off the seat next to her mother and climbed up beside him. "Tell me a story, Unca Roy." She crawled into Roy's lap, bouncing enthusiastically. She nearly took out parts best not bounced on, while digging in a bony hip.

"Elicia, gently," Gracia cautioned, seeing Roy's wide eyes. "And I'm not sure Uncle Roy knows any stories."

Roy straightened the blue bow in Elicia's hair. "None that Elicia is old enough to know."

"I'm not sure I'm old enough to know most of your stories, Roy." Gracia grinned as Elicia glanced between the adults, puzzled.

Roy blushed. "I'm not that bad."

"Please, Unca Roy." Elicia put her hand on his cheek.

Roy's nose wrinkled as he dredged his memory for a story. "Hmm, let's see, well once there were two powerful alchemists. One was very good at making fire."

"Like you, Unca Roy?" Elicia leaned her head against his chest, snuggling in. A smile rode her lips.

"Yes, like me and the other alchemist was an arrogant, little boy who just had to challenge the one who could make fire to a duel." Roy, much to Elicia's delight, retold Edward's alchemy assessment complete with sound effects. Even a few other passengers were listening in by the end.

"Good story, Unca Roy." Elicia clapped her hands. "Tell another."

"That's enough stories for now, Elicia. Why don't you read your book?" Gracia patted the seat next to her and Elicia climbed off Roy's lap and went to sit with her mom. "And Roy, are you sure that's how that happened?" She favored him with the same motherly look she gave Elicia when her daughter was exaggerating.

Roy arched an eyebrow, giving the impression he was offended by the mere suggestion that he exaggerated. "Absolutely."

"So, if I ask Edward, that's how he'll remember it?" Gracia smiled.

"I give you one alchemist who barely broke a sweat," Roy tapped his chest, "and another who ended up in the hospital, just like in the story."

"Well, Edward is only half your age, Roy." Elicia tapped his toe with hers.

Roy pouted. "I know. He broke my record as the youngest State Alchemist, little bas...jerk." He edited himself in front of Elicia.

"Roy!" Gracia scolded, wagging a finger at him.

"That's what he is." Stubborn lines formed around Roy's lips.

Gracia crossed her arms, her fingers drumming her flesh. "I've noticed you and Edward are cut from the same cloth."

Roy smiled. "Very much so. That's why he needs Al to smooth things over."

"And you had Maes," she said softly, looking out the window.

Roy swallowed hard. This was so miserably hard. At least soon it would be over and she'd know what he had been lying with silence about. "Yes, I did."

"I think you miss him almost as much as I do." Her eyes cut over to him.

Roy's eyes misted and he rubbed at them. Even thinking about Hughes really being dead hurt. And when Gracia learned the secret, it was going to hurt worse because he had betrayed her. "Like losing my brother."

"You never mention your family, Roy." Gracia leaned forward, putting a hand on his knee. "Do you even have a brother?"

Roy's face screwed up as he leaned forward as well. "No. Mom died when I was a kid and I mostly wished Dad would just do the same," he whispered.

Gracia looked so surprised to hear the bitterness. "That's a terrible thing to say."

"He tried to sell me to a brothel when I was twelve. Edward's father saved me and that was the last I saw of my dad. If I never see him again, I'll be happy," Roy said, bluntly, so soft Gracia barely caught it. It had been a long time since he had to talk about his father but the pain hadn't ebbed much.

Gracia's gentle eyes went huge and her fingers tucked over her mouth. "Roy, I had no idea." She reached for Elicia who was still looking at her picture book, oblivious to the adults' whispered conversation.

"I couldn't talk about it for years. You guys are my family now. You deserve the truth." _Liar. You've been keeping the truth from her for weeks now. _

"I appreciate the trust," Gracia said and Roy felt his stomach drop. He bet she'd change her mind when he revealed the real reason he was taking her to New River. He hoped she kicked Hughes for him, even if this deception wasn't really avoidable.

Elicia demanded her mother's attention back and the rest of the train ride was made up of easy small talk and things to entertain Elicia. Once in New River, Roy stowed the ladies in one of the rented cottages. There was no real need to coax Gracia into taking a nap. He didn't know what was so tiring about sitting on the train but it simply was exhausting. Roy stumbled into the cosy cottage and barely registered anything beyond his bed. He collapsed and dropped off to sleep.

When he woke up, he discovered a colored pencil in his pocket, poking him in the side. Roy never knew what he'd find in his pockets with Elicia around. Roy smiled at the memories of all the strange things Maes would find in his pockets courtesy of his daughter the pack rat. Roy took a deep, steadying breath and made his way to the next cottage over. He was so ill prepared mentally to take Gracia to meet Maes.

When she came to the door, Gracia still seemed a little tired. "What's next, Roy?"

"Dinner then we'll be meeting with someone," he replied, wondering if he could eat with all the knots in his belly.

"And this person has information about why Maes died?" The hopefulness of her tone was colored with world-weariness, almost as if that would be too much to hope for.

"So he says," Roy replied and a strange look passed over her face. "What's wrong?"

Gracia smiled. "Nothing. I'm just not used to seeing you out of uniform." It might have been an excuse to cover her nervousness; he wasn't sure. She fussed with the deep green lapel of his shirt. "Riza's lucky to have such a handsome man."

Roy felt his cheeks go red. "Who would that be now?"

Gracia took his hand. "There's no one here to overhear, Roy, and I think it's great. She's just the kind of woman you need."

He ducked his head shyly. "More than she probably knows."

"Oh, she knows, trust me." Gracia turned around. "Elicia, time to go to dinner."

Elicia scampered over to the adults and thrust a stuffed bunny into Roy's hands. "Carry Rachael, Unca Roy."

"Um...okay." He took the rabbit gingerly.

"Did Maes ever tell you about having tea parties with the stuffed animal brigade?" Gracia asked, seeing his distress.

He snorted. "And I laughed at him long and loud."

"Guess what." She gestured at the rabbit. "He's probably watching and laughing at you now."

_You have no idea, _he thought. "No doubt." Roy took Elicia's hand and the little girl walked between the adults down the street to the restaurant.

That was the other reason Maes had selected the cottages. They were close to food and to his new home. Dinner was better than Roy was expecting; thick chicken soup rich with leeks and cream, rare slices of beef on a peppery salad, and waffles with pearl sugar in them for dessert. Roy even had the dessert, something he rarely had room for, partly because they smelled so good but mostly he wanted to kill time and not face the inevitable. He could be such a coward.

"Is it time to go?" Gracia asked, wiping her mouth.

"I think it'll be okay." Roy paid the bill and reluctantly accepted the rabbit from Elicia again. He tucked it under his arm and took her hand as he walked them down the street, looking for the street name Hughes had given him.

He hooked onto the road and found a small house easily enough. "Gracia, you and Elicia stay here for a second," Roy said, not really sure how he wanted to do this. He knocked on the door and waited. Anxiety moved up his spine as sweat trickled down. He wasn't sure what was going to happen next but he imagined a lot of tears and screaming.

Roy barely recognized the man who answered the door. Maes had gotten thinner but given that he was recovering from terrible wounds that wasn't too surprising. His face was still pale and Roy had no idea where his friend had come up with purple tinted glasses but there they were, as round as beer bottle bottoms. His hair, now a strange ginger hue, stuck up like a bottle brush, making him look like the older, redheaded relative of Fuery. He wore a loose shirt made up of a frightening patchwork of purples. "Julien Camden?" He used the pseudonym to give Maes one last shot to back out of this at which point he'd roast him himself.

"Nice rabbit." There was everything in the world familiar about the smirk that played over 'Camden's' white face.

"Huh?" Roy had forgotten he still had Rachael the Rabbit. "Oh. When a lady asks you to carry her rabbit, how can you say no?" He smirked back. "Ready?"

"Past ready. You took forever getting here," Hughes complained, stepping back into his home. He managed a passable Northern accent. Roy wasn't sure that he'd recognize the voice if he didn't know who Camden was.

"Yeah, well...let's just say I needed fortifying a little," Roy said then turned to Gracia. "Gracia, Elicia, come on in. This is Julien Camden. I think he can answer most of your questions for you."

"If he could then why hasn't he..." Gracia trailed off, all color leaving her face.

Roy put the rabbit in Elicia's arms and guided her over to the couch, leaving Gracia to try and recover. Apparently the disguise didn't last more than three seconds in her eyes. For a second, Roy thought Gracia was going to faint. Maes obviously thought the same thing, reaching for her. Gracia's eyes flashed hot and furious. She hit Hughes. Not the open hand slap Roy was used to seeing women employ; no she hit him full on with her fist right in the mouth.

Elicia looked up at the sound. "Mommy?"

"Play with Rachael, baby," Gracia said, her fist clenching. She whipped around and glared at Roy, her little fist cocked back. "How long have you known?"

"No...since the night of the funeral," Roy confessed, wanting to just take the coward's way out and run now.

"And you didn't tell me?" Her voice went thin and tight. Gracia took a step toward him and Roy had no intention of dodging the punch when it came.

"I told him not too, love. The world had to think I was dead," Hughes said.

Gracia whirled on him. "And you couldn't tell me but you could tell him?" She jabbed her fist at Roy. "Do you know what you put me through, Maes? What Elicia's gone through?"

At her name, Elicia looked up. "Daddy?"

"Shh, baby." Gracia went over to her child and stroked her hair. "Play with Rachael."

Hughes went paler, his shoulders slumping. Roy thought maybe Maes would be the one doing the fainting. "I didn't want to lie. There was no choice. I had to tell Roy because the people who did this to us are in the military. He was in danger. _You _were and still are in danger. I can't come home yet, maybe not for a long time, but I couldn't go on letting you think I was dead."

"So you're playing dead to what? Lure them out?" Gracia demanded to know, picking Elicia up. The little girl had begun to cry softly. She didn't know what was going on but the emotions sweeping the adults effected her mood. "You shouldn't have kept me in the dark, Maes! And you, Roy, I don't even want to see you right now."

Roy bit his lip and started for the front door. "I'll just go back to the cottages."

"Give me one reason I shouldn't just walk out those doors, too, Maes!" Gracia snarled, setting Elicia back down. The little girl's head jerked up, unaccustomed to such a tone in her mother's voice.

Roy paused when Maes lifted up his shirt. Gracia covered her mouth with both hands, tears forming in her eyes. Roy swallowed hard, seeing the wounds. It wasn't possible to see where the bullets had gone in since the surgeons had opened Maes up to extract the bullets. They left red rivers of pain over his chest. The scars were still vicious and thick-looking. There was a roundish one that pierced into his shoulder as well. Hughes turned and displayed the stellate wounds that looked like things the size of apples had been shoved through the skin of his back.

He dropped his shirt back down. "I couldn't let the people who did this think they failed. I had no way of making sure you and Elicia were safe. Roy's done what he can to be sure of that, Gracia, whether or not you knew it. Armstrong and Hawkeye, too, hell probably all of Roy's men if I know him. If I were alive and the people who tried to kill me knew it, nothing might be adequate to make sure you and Elicia were safe and I couldn't live with that." The emotions and weakness caught up to Hughes; tears started streaking down his face as he trembled.

Roy watched Gracia throw herself into her husband's arms, wishing there was something he could do for his friend but knew he couldn't. He let himself out. He had no further part to play in the drama. Tomorrow Gracia would probably let him have it then forgive him...hopefully. For tonight, all he wanted was to go home and sulk about his role in the secrecy of silence. Roy stopped at a liquor store and got something to soothe his troubled mind.

TBC


	3. Fun with Phones

Author's Note - This chapter is the one that makes it rated mature and there is still a naughty word or two in it. For those old enough to read the erotic version you can find the full chapter in livejournal under colorific or fmahet. Either way I think it'll be no mystery what Roy's up to in this chapter (no pun intended)

Chapter Three

Roy was on his second long drink of whiskey, listening to a violin concerto by Eulen on the radio when the phone rang. He glared at it until he remembered it might be 'Elizabeth.' Roy picked up. "Hello."

"Do you know what I'd be doing right now if you were here?" the beautiful whiskey-voice said on the other end of the line.

Roy's eyes widened, not expecting that hello. "Dare I ask, Elizabeth?"

"You can dare. I'm not at home. Amethyst had to go out of town. I'm dog sitting for her and no one in you know where even knows about her or where you are for that matter so we can be as free as we want," Riza assured him. He knew Amethyst well. She was a wealthy pub owner who controlled much of the entertainment in Central. "Unless, of course, you and Gracia don't have separate rooms in which case, I'll shoot you."

"Separate cottages entirely." A wide smiled spread over Roy's face as he settled in a chair. "Well, then love, tell me what would you be doing to me?"

"First, I'd start with kissing you but you already know that. Those long slow kisses where I roll my tongue in your mouth and lick the top of your mouth."

"I love when you do that. You taste so good," he said, shutting his eyes, imagining her demanding mouth over his.

"I know you do. You always get a little weak in the knees. It's so sweet. I can't help wanting to feel every centimeter of you when you get like that. I'd run my hand up your belly and over your chest. Feels good doesn't it?" Mirth and lust mixed in Riza's voice.

Roy couldn't help following her suggestion with his own hand. "Feels wonderful."

He kept following her suggestions and sultry demands, losing his clothing in the process. Riza's voice and her memories were all he needed until things went to their natural conclusion. He lost the phone in the process and had to fish it back up.

"So, was it good for you, baby?" The smug tone was back.

"Oh yeah." He laughed, picking the towel off the table. "I'm a mess."

"Poor boy and no one to help clean you up." He could visualize her trying not to laugh at him.

"Evil wicked woman," he said, wiping his torso.

"You wouldn't want me any other way."

Roy laughed some more. "No, I wouldn't and you, it's your turn now."

"You go clean up and collect yourself. I'll call back later. Love you." She kissed the phone and was gone.

Roy just lounged, loose-limbed in the chair for while, recovering before he finally dragged to his feet and made sure that he hadn't gotten the furniture sticky. Roy snagged his underpants as he headed to the bathroom. He had just finished up with the clean up and was pulling on his boxers when someone knocked on this door.

"Hang on!" Roy bellowed, running for his pants. There were only two options as to who could be at the door. Gracia, who didn't need to see him almost naked, or it was Maes running from death at his wife's hands. Roy almost took a header trying to walk and pull on his pants at the same time. It was the second option standing on his doorstep. "Should I be ducking for cover?"

"Don't be an ass, Roy," Maes brushed past him.

"Your lip is swollen," Roy said, shutting the door.

"She can punch. Who knew?" Maes fingered his swollen lip.

Roy looked at Hughes, still having to fight to see his friend hiding under the red hair and wild glasses. Where had Maes even found a shirt with so many wild shades of purple and more importantly, why? He could see the lines of pain and fatigue around Maes' mouth and felt sorry for him and more than a little guilty about his own actions. "Threw you out, did she?"

Maes nodded, scrubbing a hand through his dyed hair. "Apparently she and Elicia are sleeping in my bed tonight and I've been asked to give her time to think." A pout formed on his lips. "I know I shouldn't have expected anything else."

"Not really. So why are you here? Her cottage is next door." Roy said, glancing back towards the phone, expecting it to ring any time. What a selfish bastard he was, unable to spare time for his friend.

"Gracia didn't give me a key." Maes flopped on the couch. He picked up Roy's shirt, giving it a questioning look. He sniffed the air then made a face. "_What _were you doing before I got here?"

"Nothing." Roy's face flamed red, wishing he could at least make an attempt to deny what he'd been up to.

"What the hell, Roy?" Maes eyes narrowed behind his absurd glasses. "You've been only gone from Central, what? The day it takes to get here! You can't go that long without sex?"

"It wasn't me. It was Riza. She called _me,_ not the other way around. We were supposed to be together this weekend," Roy said, as if that explained everything. It wasn't his fault Maes had lousy timing all the way around. "Instead I've managed to piss off Gracia and she's going to be ready to kill me all the way home."

"So, that means you break out the lotion?" Maes tossed his shirt at him and Roy caught it.

Roy fired it back. "Hey, take it up with Riza. She's going to owe her friend a ton of money from making naughty calls. I couldn't help it."

"Yeah, your lack of control is disgusting. How about me? I've not seen Gracia in weeks," Maes said, kicking his feet up on the couch. "Not that I was expecting her to just forgive me that easily, mind you but I expected to have you here to cheer me up."

"I'm here. Have some whiskey." Roy pointed to the bottle.

Hughes waved a dismissive hand at him. "Go clean up if you're going to stand there and talk to me."

Roy scowled. "I did."

"Think again." Maes pointed towards Roy's hair line.

Roy made a face and stalked off towards the bathroom. Maes heard the water running and then the phone rang. He knew who it had to be because Maes wasn't expecting Gracia to call him tonight. He glanced back at the bathroom then shrugged. "What the hell."

Roy's shirt in hand, Maes picked up the phone and hummed a greeting.

"Recovered, baby?" she asked and he hummed assent. "Want to tell me what you would have done if you hadn't been naughty and run off or should I tell you what else I would have done with that sweet penis of yours if you were here?"

"That second thing," Maes said and laughed, hearing the startled cursing.

"Who the hell is this?" she demanded to know.

"Damn it!" Roy came back out of the bathroom, wet-headed. "Julien, get the hell away from that phone!" Roy ran over and snagged the phone away from Hughes. "Sorry, Riza."

"Who the hell is that, Roy?" Riza snarled and Roy winced.

"Julien, a friend of Gracia's. He's probably stuck here tonight." Roy glared at his friend. Did Maes have to look so amused? "I'll try to get rid of him and I'll call you back. I know your friend's number."

"Okay," she said, sounding very unhappy.

Roy hung up and slapped Maes' shoulder. "Idiot."

"She's naughty." Maes smirked.

Roy smirked back. "Yes, and you're interrupting."

"Is that anyway to talk to a dead friend who has nowhere to go?" Maes' eyes glinted.

Roy rubbed his forehead. "Fine, go sleep in my bed."

Maes looked surprised. "Where are you going to sleep?"

Roy shrugged. "On the couch. I don't sleep much anyhow."

"I know." Maes shot him a disapproving look. "You sure?"

"I can't exactly make you sleep in the yard, now can I?" Roy flopped down on the couch, grabbing for the whiskey bottle. "Want some?"

Maes sat in a chair. "Just one hit. I still don't have a lot of energy."

Roy poured him a glass. "I can imagine so. I'm sure once she calms down, Gracia will be happy you narrowly missed death."

"I know." Maes sipped the whiskey. "It might take awhile to regain her trust, though."

Roy considered the long look on his friend's face then shook his head. "I don't think so. Once she thinks about it, understands that you were trying to shield her and Elicia, I think she'll forgive you. It's me she may never forgive for helping you do it."

Maes blew out a long slow breath. "I hope you're right, about forgiving me, not about killing you though you might deserve it for tonight." Maes ignored Roy's eye roll. "I don't know how I'm going to let her go again when you take her back to Central."

Roy's hand tightened on his glass, sympathy for his friend singing in his veins. He didn't have the heart to tell Maes that every time someone came to the door, Elicia thought it was her daddy coming home. It damn near broke his heart the first time it happened. He had no idea how Elicia would take to having to leave Daddy again. "Well, we told everyone here she was coming to New River to help a cousin who hurt himself. Cousin Julien could become needy of attention. It's not like Gracia needs me to travel with her. She can come any time."

"Especially considering what you do when you're alone in a rented room." Maes wagged his head woefully. "So, what would Riza have done with that sweet penis of yours if you stayed in Central this weekend?" Maes timed it perfectly as Roy took a drink of whiskey.

Roy choked, barely getting a hand over his face. "Damn it! You made me snort whiskey up my nose. It feels like its burning a hole into my brain."

"It'll find nothing but empty space once it burns through." Maes grinned.

"Oh shut it," Roy said as they fell back into their easy bickering. This was better than the pain and guilt. It might not be helping anything but it made Roy feel a little better. "And I'll be damned if I'll tell you all the wonderful things Hawkeye would have done."

Maes shrugged. "I'll just wait. She's bound to call back. I think I can imitate your voice on the phone."

"I take it back. I can make you sleep in the yard." Roy glared at him.

Maes laughed. "Just drink your whiskey. Maybe I'll get lucky and you'll get too drunk, and I won't have to hide in the bedroom with the pillows over my head, trying not to imagine the scary things happening out here."

"Okay, that's it, out in the yard." Roy pointed at the door.

"Make me." Maes took a sip of whiskey, waving a dismissive hand at his friend. "Even in this condition, I can out-fight a delicate doily like you."

Roy snorted. "Why fight when all I need to do is snap?"

"One or two more of those whiskeys and you'll be afraid to snap. You'll go up like dry tinder," Maes laughed.

Roy just shook his head. "I hate this, you know. I miss having you around in Central. I can't imagine how you feel being away from Gracia and Elicia."

Maes sobered instantly. "You have no idea."

"Bradley...you mistrusted him, didn't you?" Roy asked, finally putting into words what he thought Maes' investigation might have revealed.

"I'd never use that name again in that context. Look where it got me." Maes' jaw tightened. "Whatever is going on in the higher levels is very dangerous, Roy. You need to be careful."

"I have no desire to get shot. I'll be as careful as I can," Roy promised, solemnly.

"How are Ed and Al?" Hughes asked, taking another small sip of whiskey.

"Making me old before my time. You're the one who likes to play dad. I'm contemplating the wisdom of sending Fullmetal on a forced hike from here to Xing just to see if the desert improves his disposition."

Maes laughed. "It never improved yours. You and Ed are too much alike. Maybe you should think about the things that make your disposition improve and try that with him."

"Sex and whiskey?" Roy smirked.

"I see your point," Hughes replied ruefully. "Maybe you should just deal with Al and let him handle Ed."

"And if I weren't the brat's commanding officer, I'd do that." Roy licked his lips. "They don't know you're dead, Maes. We didn't tell them."

"Why the hell not?" The heat of Maes' voice shocked Roy.

"I'm a coward," Roy whispered. "I kept hoping maybe I'd be able to solve this fast and tell them where you really are but I know that isn't happening. I'm afraid. Because Edward might try to take revenge...or talk me into it. If _He_ is really behind this, I'd be more than willing to roast Bradley like a hog."

"Edward already has homunculi after him. He does not need to get more of them interested in him," Maes said darkly. "Tell Ed to leave it alone."

"I know and he won't. You know that." Roy ran a hand through his drying hair. "I know I have to tell them. I just can't find the words."

"You will," Hughes said.

_No, I really won't,_ Roy thought. He and Hughes talked for a good while more and he was a little tipsy when Maes finally wore out and went to bed. All the good feelings he had from earlier felt a little bruised now that it was so obvious things wouldn't get back to 'normal' any time soon. Roy went and sat at the table. He dialed the phone. "Hey, baby," he whispered. "Do you know what I'd do to you if I were home right now?"

X X X

Gracia hugged Roy after he laid a sleepy Elicia down in her bed. It had been a long train ride home. "I'm still a little mad at you for keeping this secret," she said.

"I wish I didn't need to," he said, giving her an extra squeeze before letting her go. He knew just how emotionally draining the whole trip had been on him. He couldn't imagine how hard it was to leave Hughes behind for Gracia and Elicia.

"I know and I know we can't tell anyone, even the boys. It'll hurt them so badly." Regret filled her eyes.

"It's unavoidable." Roy took her hand, giving it a pat. "I need to get going, Gracia. I have to get to the office tomorrow and I have things I need to do first. But, if you and Elicia need anything, just call me."

"I will and thanks, Roy, for everything." She squeezed his hand then let go with a soft smile.

Roy smiled back and took his leave. He stopped by the florist shop and got a different sort of bouquet of blue-purple honeywort, dove grey larkspur and white poppies. He didn't like his bouquets to be ordinary and routine. When he got to Hawkeye's place by the most roundabout route he knew to take, he saw her playing fetch with Hayate in the small yard behind her apartment building. From where he was near the hedge row, she couldn't see him.

An idea formed. He scrawled on the bouquet's card, 'about those things you promised to do to me,' and waited where he was, out of Riza's line of sight for the stick to bounce his way. Roy scooped it up and ignored Hayate's prancing back and forth saying 'throw it already' as he tied the card and a larkspur to the stick. He let Hayate take it and waited some more. Riza came looking for him. Seeing the smile on her face made the long train ride and mentally tiring trip melt away. For a moment, all was right in his world.


End file.
